His and Hers…

She sat at the bar waiting for him to walk in. She awaited his entrance with butterflies in her stomach and a smile on her face. She hoped it would be the last dinner as friends. The agony of dating had begun to wear on her, she wanted this to be it. She wanted the search to be over already, she wanted him.

She was tired of getting dressed for small talk and dead ends. She no longer wanted to be seen with different men. She no longer had the energy to entertain them either. She just wanted him. She longed for a commitment, and she damn sure deserved one. He was everything she could have wanted in a partner. He made her feel special.

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He was in standstill traffic, thinking of her. He felt a rush of happiness fall over him when he realized in 10 short minutes he would be in her presence. He smiled at the thought of hers. He wished the traffic would ease, he hated to leave her waiting. A dozen sunflowers rode shotgun, he was meeting her for dinner. He wanted this to be the last girl he dated, but he feared her.

He feared not being the perfect man for her. He feared not providing for her the way she needed to. He was scared of not being everything she’ll ever need. He was sure she could be his everything, but he was afraid that wouldn’t be enough. He longed to make this relationship something more. But was terrified at the thought of their friendship being ruined. To him, she was his best friend.

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She adored his drive. He carried himself as a gentleman and practiced chivalry. He held opened doors and complimented her ass she walked through. She enjoyed rolling over to his side of the bed when he left in the morning. The scent of his cologne was rich to her. It was blissful when her head was in the clouds. It was painful when she was brought back to reality. She was nothing more than a friend.

She had a deep bond with this human. Mentally, he astonished her. His mind was beautiful, his heart was pure. He made her feel as though no one else could be more worthy of her attention and time. He was witty, hard headed, brutally honest and pissed her off but she was utterly smitten.

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He could overlook every flaw she possessed. In his eyes, she was the epitome of a woman. She carried herself with grace and poise. He enjoyed the places her mind took him. He craved to converse with her. He found the way she articulated her words joyful. He found it amusing to challenge her. Her brilliance made her so beautiful. He dreaded leaving her in the morning, she always felt so warm beside him. She had the best sense of humor. She was unapologetic, indecisive, sarcastic, and knew exactly how to push his buttons but he was falling for her.

He was unsure of the right time to make this happen. He feared that she wouldn’t want to make the commitment. He didn’t want to become a distraction on her road to success. He loved her determination to succeed at everything she attempted. She took on every task with focus and commitment. She taught him things he’d never known. He knew she was worth so much more than he was providing. He just wanted to remain in her life. She motivated to be a better man.

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She felt those flutters in her stomach as he approached her carrying a bouquet of her favorite flowers. A rush of emotion had come over her and she embraced him with a hug. Hugging him felt peaceful, his arms were serenity. She felt that this was the time to pour out her emotion.

She needed more, she wanted more. “What are we doing here? Not here as in this restaurant but here together. You mean something to me, you mean a lot to me. I’ve put my time and energy into this friendship, we have everything besides a commitment. We have something special, why not take the chance. I want now or never. I can’t continue waiting for water in a drought.”

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He blushed at the sight of her smile. She beamed as he approached her holding those flowers. He prayed this would the happiness she would feel, she deserved nothing less. He pushed her chair in and sat beside her. He missed her, seeing her brought him tranquillity. She didn’t seem herself once she had sat down. She began to finally speak her feelings.

He listened to every word as if his life depended on it. “I feel the same way, you do mean something to me, I just don’t want to jump into more and mess up what we have now. What will a title change? Aren’t we happy where we currently stand? Are you willing and prepared to commit to me? Wholeheartedly?

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She didn’t answer any of his questions. Had she not shown the answers through her actions? She had committed to him, invested her emotions and time. She made it a priority to see him happy. If he couldn’t move this forward then this was the end of their run. She shouldn’t be a second thought.

She shouldn’t be left waiting for him to make up his mind. She was worth more than that. She stood up, excused herself and wished him happiness, health, and success in all his endeavors and walked out the restaurant.  She felt pain, but relief. She knew she was going to find a soul shaking love one day. One worthy of all her potential.

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He watched her face go blank. She had an expression he had never seen before. She didn’t understand. He was afraid to love her, he was afraid of how amazing she was. He was afraid of the things he couldn’t provide for her.

He admitted he was a fool because she didn’t ask for anything besides him. He just was not ready for it right now. He watched in agony as she walked through the restaurant doors. He couldn’t get out the words he needed to. He knew he had just lost the best thing that ever happened to him.